


There Will Be Sunny Days For Us Again

by Zenappa



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Actually I Regret A Lot, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Carterson, Character Death, Evil, F/M, I Have A Horrible Mind, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 01:32:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenappa/pseuds/Zenappa
Summary: Loki never had something to live for before this moment, and now that everything was finally falling into place, things were starting to fall apart. For once, he knew exactly what he had to do. Peggy always had something to lose, but she never thought it would affect her this much, until the moment that it did. Infinity War spoilers!





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> I really have a horrible mind. I'm a little sorry for making you cry in advance.  
> LOTS OF INFINITY WAR SPOILERS! (you have been warned.)

It was supposed to be a few weeks. 

He promised her that it would be a few weeks. He promised her that he would be back home in time for her birthday - she was going to be 98, after all. He promised her that it was just a routine mission. 

Thor had come back to Midgard with an unwelcome surprise. He claimed that if he could leave him out of it, he would have, but they deserved to realize the truth together as brothers should. A half-sister had materialized from the gates of Hel, one that he had dealings with in the past, but a sister all the same. That certainly had been news to the brothers. Destruction was to rain upon Asgard if the pair did not work together, for old time’s sake. 

He had hesitated all the same, being forced to choose between his old family and his new one. But for the first time, Thor had actually come to him for help without being forced to. Thor had actually trusted him. How could he turn up a chance to finally prove his worth?

When he left Peggy and his beautiful children on their island together, he had never expected that it was the last time that he would ever see them. 

Of course, things went awry, but in the end, he ended up right back where he started. 

Asgard. 

Granted, Asgard was not entirely the same, but they were all safe and they were heading home. He thought of the joyful giggle that would appear on Arik’s face as he leapt into his father’s arms. He thought of the grin that would overcome his lips as Stella showed him all of the magic that she had progressed since he was gone. He thought of his wife, his Peggy, and how she would accompany him on the next mission with his brother. She would love what had become of this place, no matter the circumstances. 

Thor could tell how much he had changed as well, and just seeing him smile again was worth all of the pain that they had endured. 

It never lasted. 

Thanos was on top of them before they could even blink. Thor had spotted it first and before he had time to warn the rest of the ship, the warning shots had already been fired upon the ship. And deep down, he knew that Thanos had come for him. 

He had faced Thanos in the past, but never like this. Never caught off guard, never without a plan, never with something to lose. 

Asgard held its own, but it wasn’t enough. He knew it wasn’t going to be enough against Thanos’s endless conquest for the Infinity Stones. And here on this ship, Thanos had two things he wanted desperately: the Space Stone and a certain god’s head on a spike. 

Bloodied and beaten, he never gave up. He kept going because he finally had something to live for, something to return home to. 

Giving up the Tesseract for Thor was easy, even though he hated to admit it. He was trapped in a corner, and after everything that his brother did for him, saw in him, he knew he would never forgive himself if Thor winded up dead because of him. 

Giving himself up later. 

That was harder. 

After the failed attempt at Hulk’s ambush and Heimdall’s dark magic, he stood there in the shadows, watching the slaughter of his own people. Thanos had two out of six of the Infinity Stones, and his next stop was Midgard, his home. He would not stop until he conquested and destroyed every single place in search of the Stones. And on Midgard, he knew that she would help save the planet from this monster. 

And that was when he made a split second decision. 

A final decision. 

He stepped out of the shadows, against his better judgement, against his inner mind screaming at him to stop and wait for the dust to settle. He stepped out of the shadows for one last chance to stop Thanos before he had the opportunity to hurt anyone else. 

Thoughts of Thanos decimating his home, taking his family from him, ripping his children away from their mother, using them as an example- It was all too much. If he had a chance to prevent that from happening, he was going to take every last moment he could. 

And so, he closed his eyes, and he stepped out of the shadows. 

He stood there, still as a rock, in front of the monster that threatened his family. He stalled for time, hoping that the rest of the Black Order would be ready for decimation if it came down to it. And then, with thoughts of Peggy, Stella and Arik on his mind, he took his last chance.

His plan wasn’t foil-proof. In fact, he didn’t even have a plan. The only thing that was on his mind was his family. No magic, no tricks, just him and his dagger and Thanos’s throat. 

He made it to his throat, even sliced it, but with Thanos, it was never enough. And deep down, he knew it. 

He knew, one way or another, he was going to die his last life here on this broken floating form of Asgard. He knew that this was where his story ended. His only hope was to try and let his death be the last one in a long chain of Thanos’s tyranny. If he was going to die, at least he would die knowing that he did what he could to save the people that he loved. 

As Thanos’s fingers closed around his throat, he barely even struggled. One way or another, he knew that it would be the end for him. One way or another, he knew that Thanos had caught up to him for the last time. But for the first time, he was no longer afraid. 

He had lived a long life full of chaos, but for this past decade, he had lived a happy life. He finally had achieved everything he wanted, and it was nothing like he had expected. He had never expected to fall in love, to get married, to have children, and he had never expected to love every moment of it. 

He only hoped that his sacrifice would mean the rest of his family’s survival. And it did. 

As the last of the light faded from his eyes, he laughed, knowing that Thanos would never win. And even if he did, he would never find happiness and love.

And that was reason enough for Loki to die with a smile on his lips. 

 


	2. Part Two

It was more than a few weeks. 

She didn’t want to worry; she knew better than most how missions could get out of hand, and she trusted him to not leave his brother behind before the job was done. She knew how much he had changed and as much as he didn’t want to admit out loud, she knew that he was honored that Thor had chosen to trust him with this task. 

But, at the end of the day, Loki still wasn’t home, and she was starting to get worried. 

She tried to distract herself by taking jobs with Steve and Natasha every once and awhile, but it wasn’t the same. As much as she loved being a mother, she missed the old days where SHIELD still existed beyond Nick Fury and Maria Hill. She missed feeling useful. 

Steve could tell that she was distracted the longer that Loki stayed away. He stopped asking her to join him on his excursions and instead would come over to her house on the island and visit with the kids. Arik would squeal and hug Steve’s knees, and Steve, god bless him, would bend down and swing him around as if he was his own child. The latest toy that Steve brought to Arik was a mini bubble ray gun that he would shoot all over the house, annoying his sister to no end. 

Stella, on the other hand, appreciated Steve’s presence for life conversations. As someone who had both fought with and against her own parents, she liked having the reassurance that the world was still crazier than she was. She missed having Bucky around, someone who really understood her, but Steve was a welcome surprise into her life, one that she never would have anticipated. 

But when Steve was gone, and she was alone with her children, the worry crept into her heart as the days kept passing. She knew that communication to and from Asgard was patchy, but that didn’t qualm the theories that swam through her head. 

More days passed. There was still no sign of Loki. 

Stella was trying her hardest to keep her cool, but she could see into her daughter’s room when Stella thought she wasn’t looking. She saw the way the room was ripped apart from Stella’s magic. She saw the way that her daughter was losing control, and she felt helpless to stop it. 

When Steve showed up at the door for the last time, she all but fell into his arms, letting out every emotion she had been holding in for her children. She had a horrible feeling deep down in her heart that it had been too long, that he wasn’t coming back this time. But Steve only pushed her aside, all but telling her to get her shit together, as he noticed the fear creeping up around her and her children. 

An attack was coming for Earth, and all hands were needed on deck, no matter the cost. Not just any attack, an attack from Thanos. 

His name alone sent her blood frozen into ice. She tried to ignore the lump rising in her throat as she thought of everything that Loki had been through with that monster, of the memory of her husband telling her that one day Thanos would get his revenge upon him. But she didn’t have time to let her thoughts wander; right now, her priority was saving this planet. 

Stella had wanted to help in the worst way, but she assured her daughter that the best way to help was to protect Arik at all costs. Stella had the power and the magic to defend herself and her brother, more so than anyone else she knew. She made the right call. 

When they arrived at the headquarters, she tried to put on a brave face, even though she felt empty and numb on the inside. A part of her knew he was gone, but she didn’t have the time to process any of it. 

At least, until she saw Bruce. 

He took one look at her, freezing where he stood, and she knew that something had happened. She had heard that he had ended up on Asgard with the rest of them, including her husband, and for a split second, hope conquered over her mind. 

If Bruce could be standing here unscathed, he might be too. 

As he shook his head, explaining how Thanos attacked their ship on the way home here, that hope slowly started to dwindle. The only people left alive when he was transported away were Thor and Loki, and there was a good chance that they could have found a way off of the ship. Or that was at least the comforting words that she heard pour out of the scientist’s lips. 

She remained mostly alone as they traveled to another place, Wakanda this time, trying to curtail her thoughts from wandering to a darker place. There was still hope. Every single Avenger had said it to her at least once, but her optimism started to fail with every repeated phrase. A part of her had died a few days ago, and she knew it was because of him. 

The battle was nothing like she had ever seen before. In a world full of gods, aliens and magic, she had never expected an attack of this scale. And from the looks on her fellow Avengers’ faces, neither had they. 

She felt the same dread and fear that she had been feeling for days slowly creep up and settle on her allies as Thanos’s army never stopped. They were outnumbered, outgunned, and they were going to lose. 

That was the general consensus, at least until Thor showed up. 

For a split second, when the Bifrost appeared from the sky, her heart stopped. The blood stopped pumping in her veins as hope replaced it, waiting for the dust to settle. 

For a split second, she thought she would see Loki appear in the Bifrost. 

When it was revealed to be Thor instead, a part of her still kept fighting, kept pushing through, kept thinking that her husband was on his way, kept believing that the two brothers had made it out together. 

She could feel Thor’s eyes on her throughout the entire battle, even as they were fighting off creatures that looked straight out of a sci-fi movie. She ignored it as much as she could, until she finally had the courage to make eye contact with him. 

Thor tried to hide it as best as he could, but she could see the despair and sadness behind his eyes. He had wanted to keep the news from her to keep the focus on the current battle at hand, but she was a soldier. She knew how to handle bad news in a crisis. 

And so, she nodded, letting the last bit of hope drain itself from her body, and dove right back into the battle. 

As Thanos arrived for the last Infinity Stone, she started to feel nauseous. If all of this had been for nothing, if Loki had been for nothing-

Steve physically shook her out of her thoughts as she didn’t even notice how badly her hands were shaking on her gun. She felt his own tears land on her head. She felt his arms wrap around her in the midst of an alien attack. She felt him be at her side this time as she finally succumbed to her grief. 

She didn’t even notice when Thanos achieved his goal. 

Her body was so numb from grief that she barely processed what was happening around her until it was too late. She saw Thor and Steve, each holding her closely as they tried to explain everything to her. 

She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to hear what his last words were. She didn’t want to hear how he suffered at Thanos’s hands. She didn’t want to hear that his sacrifice meant her and their children’s survivals. She didn’t want to hear any of it - she just wanted to mourn the loss of her husband.

And she couldn’t even do that. 

Bucky was the first to go, stumbling around the corner until - he simply wasn’t there anymore. Steve had immediately sprung into action, putting his hand on the ground where his best friend used to be standing. But she had noticed the rest of the field, half of them ceasing to exist in a split second. 

Thanos had won. 

She shut her eyes, letting the dark thoughts plague her mind once more. The first flash that entered her brain was a hope that she would dissolve too. At least, the pain would end, and she would have a chance to be with her husband again. 

A second later, she thought of Stella and Arik, waiting at home for her to return, and immediately wished those dreams away. She had to be strong for her family, she had to be strong for Steve, and she had to be strong for Loki. 

After the dust settled, she managed to get to her feet, stumbling over to Steve’s side. Still knelt in the dirt, touching the space where Bucky had evaporated, Steve only glanced up at her, giving her the same hollow expression that she had donned for the past few hours. 

Looking around at the rest of the remaining Avengers, she held her breath for a moment, trying her hardest to think about just what had happened. But in every outcome, Loki was still gone. 

She knew why he did what he had done. One way or another, Infinity Stones or not, Thanos was going to catch up to him. It was inevitable. And by sacrificing himself on Asgard, he had saved his family. 

He had saved the pain of watching Thanos slaughter their family before each other on their island. He had saved her and her children. But he was still gone, this time for good. 

As she let a single tear escape from her eye, she tried to replay the last conversation that they had together, the last time they kissed, the last time that she had told him that she loved him. The more she remembered, the more pain she felt consuming her entire body until it felt like she was on fire. 

She hadn’t even known she had passed out until she awoke in her own bed back on their island. She leapt to her feet, all but sprinting in the kitchen to find her children, but immediately stopped in her tracks when she saw the sight before her eyes. 

Steve and Thor were sitting in her living room with Stella and Arik, both still alive and healthy. She could hear the sparks of Stella’s magic, raging up with every second of conversation that passed. She could hear Arik’s confused questions, asking why his father wasn’t coming back. And she instantly turned around, closing the door and sliding down the wall. 

As more tears spilled down her cheeks, she felt lighter than she had been in days. 

She had no idea how she was supposed to get through this. She had no idea how she was supposed to survive without him in her life. She had no idea what came next in a world where half of the universe’s population was decimated. 

But she had her family. 

They were alive because of him. And so, she cried tears of joy that she was fortunate enough to still have that in her life. 

With that, she whispered one last thank you to her husband before she wiped the tears from her eyes and headed outside to be with her family. 

Whatever came next, it didn’t matter. 

Because the sun was shining down on Peggy today, and it would be everyday for as long as she lived. 

 


End file.
